Love is a funny thing. You expect it to be easy. You expect it to be a world of roses and laughs and perfect moments that you find only in movies. You expect him to say the right thing always, and always know exactly how you feel, or exactly how to react to it. You expect him to calm you down when you’re yelling or to chase you when you run away. You expect so much from him that you feel entirely, utterly defeated when something doesn’t exactly match up with all your plans. But that’s the thing. Love isn’t a plan. It doesn’t have a certain beginning and it certainly has no end or visible finish line to those deeply in it.
Love is so incredibly messy. People around you can’t comprehend why you do the things which you do, or why you fight so hard for something that seems to cause you so much pain, because simply, they can’t see. They can’t see the invisible ring of insanity that surrounds you when you’re in love. It’s inconvenient and painful and devastating at times, but we can’t even live without it. What you don’t learn is how hard love is. How much work it takes. How much of ourselves we have to put into it. How it isn’t worth it until we are complete and utter idiots about it.
Love isn’t him calming you down when you yell. It’s him yelling, just as loud, just as hard, right back at you, right in your face to wake you up and to keep you grounded. It isn’t him bringing you roses everyday or cute things that make your relationship appear more presentable to you or others.
It’s after a long fight, that drains the life and bones right out of you both, and yet him showing up at your door the next morning anyway. It’s not him saying all the right things or knowing exactly how to handle you. So no, it’s not her caressing your hair and telling you that everything’s going to be alright. It’s him standing there always, admitting he’s just as scared as you are. You have to remember that with love, you’re not the only one involved. You’ve unknowingly put your life, your heart into the palms of another person’s hand and said “here. Do what you will. Mash it into mince meat. Or forget I ever handed it to you. As long as you have it.”
It makes us crazy. It makes us invisible and it erases all the lines that we shouldn’t cross. Because love isn’t about fencing ourselves in; feeling safe, feeling sure about the future. It’s about scaring the crap out of every nerve in our body, but pushing forward anyway. Because all the fighting and all the tears and all the uncertainty is worth it. And it’s a lot better than being 100% happy without someone to show us that there is a world of difference between feeling ‘happy’ and feeling whole.
Life is a challenge, and so is love. Things never come easy in life; if they do, memories are rare, suffering won’t get you through the tough times, there’s nothing to look back on. In the end, it’s all worth it.
The day you left I thought that I could not continue living if living meant living without you.
On the second day of your prolonged absence nothing just seemed worth doing. Not as long as you weren’t doing it with me.
Then on the third day I realised that there would be no sign of your return and that I was all by myself now and I would have to keep going. Even if that meant going without you.
On the fourth day I finally had the strength to open the blinds and to get rid of everything that reminded me of you. It was difficult and it took me more that half of the day trying to push all of the memories beneath my bed.
On the fifth day of living my own, I worked up the courage to tell everyone – my friends, your friends and everyone else what had really happened. How you just broke all the sweet promises you made to me and just left one morning without looking back, or even saying bye.
On the sixth day your best friend asked me out for a coffee, said he knew where I could find you.I said I didn’t want to know cause I would rather now have you lost than to know where you were without me.
On then seventh day I woke up to a still empty bed, wet pillow and when I rolled over on your side I could no longer feel where your body used to lay.
On the eighth day I with a very strong heart took all of your belongings to the end of the driveway for the trash man to take away. This time I didn’t care of how you’ll feel about it or If you still wanted any of it.
On the ninth day you texted me, and it took me half of the day to summon the courage to even open it. Inside it read, “I still love you. I’m sorry. Please, let me come home.” I never replied.
On the tenth day I changed the locks on my doors, my telephone number, the colour of my hair that you loved so much and just changed everything possible that I could change. You are no longer welcome in my home, in my head and in my heart.
It takes a lot of courage but after a while you just begin to learn,
That kisses aren’t contracts and presents are not promises!
That love doesn’t mean leaning and company doesn’t always mean security!
After a while you just learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much of it.
And you learn
That you really can endure
That you are not that weak
and you really do have a worth
And you learn and you learn
With every good bye you learn!
When the boys pull your hair and push you to the ground during your school recess, I promise you not to tell you that its’ okay. Cause it’s not okay!
When your teacher calls me home to tell me that you pushed them back to the ground, I promise you that i’ll take you out of school early and buy you your favorite red velvet cupcakes.
When you get older and the boys try to touch you when you don’t want to be touched, I’ll look at you like the sun when you come home with anger in your fists. They’ll all tell you not to fight fire against fire but that is only because they’re afraid of your flames. Don’t listen to them!
When the boys yell at you like wild hyenas you yell back,baby!
I will never teach you to be afraid of your anger so that you look for it in others.
I will not try to make you their version of a perfect girl, because you already are perfect in your own way.
You wanna fight ’em? fight ’em!
Don’t you dare apologize for the fierce love you have for yourself and the lengths you go to preserve it.
When the boys try to tell you to soften up, I hope you’re able to make them bleed with your edges.
I hope you remember that you are not theirs and their disappointment in you is not yours.
When the boys come to your doorstep with pretty words and angry eyes, I hope you show them the anger in yours. I hope you show them just how strong your sister thinks you are! I hope you show them the animal they can’t always see in their own reflection.
When the boys come with the intention of hurting you,
My advice to you will always be the same, my darling: Give ’em hell
I remember, When he hit me, abused me, bruised me,
I thought you’d come take me away, I knew you heard me from across the wall,
That was where I wept all day..
I remember, When I screamed that night,
My eyes were wet but no one else cried, Relief screamed in your silent eyes,
The night your little girl had died.
Tying the knot is an expression that for most of us evokes happy memories of one of the best days of our lives. But the fun and the zeal of planning the wedding and the heady excitement of the first weeks of marriage will not be the experience of 13.5 million girls every year. Instead, the marriage they experience is a form of violence.
Violence against women and girls is a global scourge that affects millions of women every year. In fact, it is estimated that one in three women and girls experience violence in their lifetime. Child marriage is a sign of that viciousness.
She can’t turn to her family for help — they got her married,
She can’t turn to her husband — he is the one brutally tearing through her body,
She can’t turn to the law — the law does not address her plight with a remedy.
Let our girls lead a life of learning, interaction and physical activity to ensure a healthy standard of living. Education gives a girl direction, fosters her mental development, instills confidence, empowers her to be independent, engages her to be free and empowers her to unravel in the middle of good and bad. Absence of information, mindfulness and lack of awareness makes a bigger number of pits than sutures.
Let her walk through the school corridors and she will change lives,
Weave her into the knots of child marriage and she will regret whole life!