The word “rejection” actually means to “throw something away.” Isn’t it? With that in mind, what is the term for something thrown away? *Trash*! No wonder rejection is such a painful experience! When someone rejects us, it leaves us with a feeling like we are ‘trash’ in their eyes; something of no further value and that leaves us feeling extremely hurt. I mean How could that ‘not’ hurt?
There are close to seven billion people living on the Earth. Why then does it hurt so badly for us to be rejected by just a few of them within our life-time? Doesn’t it make sense that we would just say, “Oh well, I have billions of others who will love and value me,” and go off seeking someone else to fill the void? That’s the problem…human emotions don’t always make sense. They are not cut and dried like that. As one person said, “Love does not play by the proper rules of moral society”!
As we look back on our life, we will realize that many of the times we thought were were being rejected from someone or something we wanted, we were in fact being redirected to someone or something we needed so badly.
Seeing this when we’re in the midst of feeling rejected, however, is quite tough. I know because I’ve been there, every one’s been there!
Negative emotions are a part of life; we will all occasionally experience, for example, disappointment, fear, shame, humiliation and insecurity. Different people cope with these emotions in a variety of ways. Some seek solitude to recover while others prefer the company of others, certain people keep their emotions bottled up while others are open to confess their pain. But rejection is distinct from other negative emotions because of the magnitude of the pain the feeling emits. In addition, feeling rejected often elicits a whole host of other negative emotions.
Rejection is a necessary medicine, it teaches us how to reject relationships and opportunities that aren’t going to work, so we can find the right ones that will. It doesn’t mean we aren’t good enough, it just means someone else failed to notice what we have to offer. Which means we now have more time to improve outself and explore our options.
Will you be bitter for a moment? Absolutely. Hurt? Of course, you’re human. There isn’t a single soul on this planet that doesn’t feel a small fraction of their heart break at the realization of rejection. For a short time afterwards you will ask yourself every question you can think of…
- What did I do wrong?
- Why didn’t they care about me?
- How come?
Don’t forget, it may actually be a blessing that you were let down, thrown out, cast by the way-side or replaced! Perhaps, if you looked deep into your heart, you knew you were in the wrong relationship or that you had ‘lost yourself’, however much you loved that person!
Always remember that much unhappiness is not caused by what happens to you in life but how you react to and deal with what happens to you.
Take control and take action today to overcome your distress. You won’t only survive, you’ll thrive!