The day you left I thought that I could not continue living if living meant living without you.

On the second day of your prolonged absence nothing just seemed worth doing. Not as long as you weren’t doing it with me.

Then on the third day I realised that there would be no sign of your return and that I was all by myself now and I would have to keep going. Even if that meant going without you.

On the fourth day I finally had the strength to open the blinds and to get rid of everything that reminded me of you. It was difficult and it took me more that half of the day trying to push all of the memories beneath my bed.

On the fifth day of living my own, I worked up the courage to tell everyone – my friends, your friends and everyone else what had really happened. How you just broke all the sweet promises you made to me and just left one morning without looking back, or even saying bye.

On the sixth day your best friend asked me out for a coffee, said he knew where I could find you.I said I didn’t want to know cause I would rather now have you lost than to know where you were without me.

On then seventh day I woke up to a still empty bed, wet pillow and when I rolled over on your side I could no longer feel where your body used to lay.

On the eighth day I with a very strong heart took all of your belongings to the end of the driveway for the trash man to take away. This time I didn’t care of how you’ll feel about it or If you still wanted any of it.

On the ninth day you texted me, and it took me half of the day to summon the courage to even open it. Inside it read, “I still love you. I’m sorry. Please, let me come home.” I never replied.

On the tenth day I changed the locks on my doors, my telephone number, the colour of my hair that you loved so much and just changed everything possible that I could change. You are no longer welcome in my home, in my head and in my heart.

FB_IMG_1439225965742

It takes a lot of courage but after a while you just begin to learn,

That kisses aren’t contracts and presents are not promises!

That love doesn’t mean leaning and company doesn’t always mean security!

After a while you just learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much of it.

And you learn

That you really can endure

That you are not that weak

and you really do have a worth

And you learn and you learn

With every good bye you learn!

Advertisements