REJECTION HURTS! BUT WHY SO MUCH? — October 9, 2015

REJECTION HURTS! BUT WHY SO MUCH?

The word “rejection” actually means to “throw something away.” Isn’t it? With that in mind, what is the term for something thrown away? *Trash*! No wonder rejection is such a painful experience! When someone rejects us, it leaves us with a feeling like we are ‘trash’ in their eyes; something of no further value and that leaves us feeling extremely hurt. I mean How could that ‘not’ hurt?

 There are close to seven billion people living on the Earth. Why then does it hurt so badly for us to be rejected by just a few of them within our life-time? Doesn’t it make sense that we would just say, “Oh well, I have billions of others who will love and value me,” and go off seeking someone else to fill the void? That’s the problem…human emotions don’t always make sense. They are not cut and dried like that. As one person said, “Love does not play by the proper rules of moral society”!

   

As we look back on our life, we will realize that many of the times we thought were were being rejected from someone or something we wanted, we were in fact being redirected to someone or something we needed so badly.

Seeing this when we’re in the midst of feeling rejected, however, is quite tough. I know because I’ve been there, every one’s been there!

Negative emotions are a part of life; we will all occasionally experience, for example, disappointment, fear, shame, humiliation and insecurity. Different people cope with these emotions in a variety of ways. Some seek solitude to recover while others prefer the company of others, certain people keep their emotions bottled up while others are open to confess their pain. But rejection is distinct from other negative emotions because of the magnitude of the pain the feeling emits. In addition, feeling rejected often elicits a whole host of other negative emotions. 

Rejection is a necessary medicine, it teaches us how to reject relationships and opportunities that aren’t going to work, so we can find the right ones that will. It doesn’t mean we aren’t good enough, it just means someone else failed to notice what we have to offer. Which means we now have more time to improve outself and explore our options.

  

Will you be bitter for a moment? Absolutely. Hurt? Of course, you’re human. There isn’t a single soul on this planet that doesn’t feel a small fraction of their heart break at the realization of rejection. For a short time afterwards you will ask yourself every question you can think of…

  • What did I do wrong?
  • Why didn’t they care about me?
  • How come?
  • etc.

Don’t forget, it may actually be a blessing that you were let down, thrown out, cast by the way-side or replaced! Perhaps, if you looked deep into your heart, you knew you were in the wrong relationship or that you had ‘lost yourself’, however much you loved that person!

Always remember that much unhappiness is not caused by what happens to you in life but how you react to and deal with what happens to you.

Take control and take action today to overcome your distress. You won’t only survive, you’ll thrive!

F.R.I.E.N.D.S — October 7, 2015

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

When asked, “What is a friend” all of us will have our own interpretation of it. The words used to describe what a friend is might vary between persons but the general consensus is this amazing person who knows everything about you, that will keep all of your secrets, someone that your spirit clicks with immediately ill be ready at a moment’s notice to hurt someone who has hurt you, and will basically love you unconditionally.

Happiness lies not in the multitude of friends, but in the worth and choice!

   
Most of us have one or two friends that we would go to the end of the earth for. Those friends that have proven themselves to us time after time. The ones that if someone dares to look like they are about to say something negative about us; they are ready to say “Don’t go there!” It is all about sharing the good – and sometimes not too good – times together. Friendships like these have taken years of understanding and patience to build. 

  
Almost everyone has at least one such friend, and almost everyone is one. 

Have you ever considered what your life would be like without your friends? 

   
  
When I think about the few special people I have in my life who are always there for me, making me smile, lifting my spirits and giving me hope when I am feeling down, understanding me like no one else and having unconditional love for me I truly feel privileged and blessed!

   
The true essence of friendship is love. It is the characteristics of what the Creator gives to us; love, support, encouragement, and honesty whether we always deserve it or not. Those same characteristics we too should have if we are to follow and immolate the ultimate friend. If we are giving that, how could someone not give that back?

Lucky are the ones who have a set of friends who support them in their hardships and adverties of life! I wish that everyone everywhere is blessed with at least one such friend for life!

  
To sum up I would say that, love the most beautiful feeling in the world is incomplete if it’s not supported by friendship…….

You aren’t fair? Nothing is lost! Being *DUSKY* is way more beautiful! — October 3, 2015

You aren’t fair? Nothing is lost! Being *DUSKY* is way more beautiful!

Beauty, they say, is in the eyes of the beholder. However not everyone is able to appreciate, feel and love the numerous ways beauty presents itself!

Every skin type has its own individuality.
But then again, life’s not fair is it?

First of all, who said a beautiful woman has to be fair? Why can’t she be dark? Does the colour make one look really less beautiful? In India too, despite the supposed setback of possessing a dark complexion, many of our best and most successful models and actresses are decidedly dusky. And all the more beautiful for it, too! Why do people add the adjective ‘dusky’ and call a few ‘dusky beauty?’ Why do they differentiate between dark and fair complexions? Beauty is beauty! If someone says, “You look beautiful”, why add dark to it? Is being called ‘dark’ or ‘dusky’ in anyway discriminating? If a man is ‘tall and dark’, he is perceived to be handsome. But, if a woman is tall and dark, she’s not perceived to be beautiful. Why? Isn’t that strange? The subject of complexion has always been unnecessarily hyped everywhere.

So, now you have tried all the possible fairness solutions from creams to soaps. Has your skin colour changed? Has your confidence level been increased? 

A woman’s beauty or good looks come from who you are and not the colour of your skin. So, throw the fairness creams away and go out! Dare to date a woman who has the same skin tone as you have. Stop being colour blind! Stop ogling at fair women passing you by. Don’t you have better issues in life to care than this? Why don’t you accept yourself for the average looking you are bestowed with? Wear a smile on your face and do one kind deed every day. Of course, it is the sexiest curve that anyone can have.

On a final note, love the skin you’re in and beauty will follow…

You’re Not In Love But It’s Worse, You’re ATTACHED! — September 27, 2015

You’re Not In Love But It’s Worse, You’re ATTACHED!

Have you ever met someone and felt such an instant and amazing bond of attraction and connection that you thought this person must be The One? You feel so comfortable with them and such a closeness that you think you must have, at last, found your soul mate. But is it true love? Or have you found yourself attached someone, not because you love them, but because you need them? And how you can tell the difference?

It’s not love. You know that!!!



They do not fulfill you. You cannot foresee them in your coming life. They are just here right now and it feels good. Having them in your life feels like stashing some mint gums. They don’t fill in a purpose but every now and then they make you feel satiated. So they are always stashed in your purse for those boring, empty, fulfils me right now days. And before you could realise, you find yourself ATTACHED. ADDICTED. It’s not love, friendship or commitment. It’s just attachment. And it’s worse than any of these things.

Here are the signs that you are in for a wrong haul. Get out of it ASAP!


1. Their timing was perfect

Most of the time, they come in your life out of nowhere. The reason why you allowed them to enter your personal space and become your emotional cord is because their timing was such. You might have been emotionally vulnerable, broken or damaged. Their entrance was like a breather.


2. You feel they ‘fixed you’

Having such perfect timing, they had no choice but to fix you. They showed you another perspective of life and being with them, you have unknowingly received some of the best life lessons. You will forever be indebted to them for this. But what after this? Can it take you any higher? You don’t feel like growing together. One is always catching up with the other.
  

3. You have zero expectations

Be it about last moment cancellations or a future, you have never placed many expectations on them. You both had set clear unsaid boundaries since the beginning. It doesn’t hurt you or disappoint you. It might pinch you like a tiny thorn but it never holds the power to shake your world.

4. There are absolutely no vulnerabilities

Sometimes you might feel they are fuss-free people with no weightage. The truth is there is no vulnerability right now because neither of you are deeply invested. You might find them to be liberating as they never get paranoid about your new friends or random parties. But may be, they don’t care much.

5. They satiate you

You have never known how it feels like to not find them there. You are bored or alone, you text them. You are in an emergency, they are there. You return from a party and you’re dying to tell someone how everybody sucks, they will be there to say, “Hell, they do!” It feels good, right?

6. But they don’t fulfill you

But then you dig deep and find you’d love to share this with someone else. And they are not them. You don’t really meet their friends, neither do they meet yours. You don’t plan your outings. You just hangout; mostly at the last moment. It’s different than meeting others but there’s no spark. And you often wonder why!

7. It’s not jealousy

You discuss other guys and girls, because come on, you are not ‘in a relationship’. You encourage each other but then you start repelling. The moment the other person is on the verge of going back to their real love or finding a new one, you want to pull them back to your cozy spot. No, you are not feeling the tinge of jealousy.


8. It’s the fear

You are just feeling scared to be left alone in this game. Deep inside, you know that this is just a momentary game where one of you will run away the moment they find real love. You will never be able to give them anything, neither will they, but you just don’t want to lose them right now and stand alone. You are being selfish, clearly.
 
9. They’re amazing

They are your knight-in-shining armor. They are hot and make great conversation. Your mind is on fire when you converse with them. It’s exciting and really sharp. It’s like the tequila shot; fast and intense. But sooner or later you hit the ground.


10. But you feel guilty

You know they might play with your mind but they will never have the way to your heart. This makes you feel guilty and maybe sometimes, you try to feel what it would be like to feel for them. But if it was love you’d never have to try right.

11. They are making you feel addicted
You both have no ‘feelings’ going on. But you two are so stuck to each other that you are in some way blocking the way for others. There are times when you want to have a heart-to-heart conversation with someone but you are so used to have it with this attached person that you never open your heart to anyone else.

12. And selfish
And is this fair? You are cheating yourself. You started talking to them thinking it’s a no win-no loss game. Clearly, you both are here to lose. If not today, maybe tomorrow. There cannot be enough escape routes. You need to stop being so selfish

Head VS Heart — September 19, 2015

Head VS Heart

Does our heart know more than our head?

Or is it the other way around?
Which one will lead to more happiness, purpose, and fulfillment?
This is not about neglecting a part of us.
Instead, it’s about using everything at our disposal.

We have a head and a heart for a reason. They both help in their own way.

When we fall in love, we feel out heart flutter, beat loudly or leap for joy; when we’re rejected, our heart breaks. We are called heartless or cold-hearted when we show no care or love…and big-hearted when we extend our concern to others. We “take things to heart” or “talk heart-to-heart” about deeply personal issues. We love someone “from the bottom of our heart” but are half-hearted about something when we’re emotionally uninvolved. We experience out heart as the center of our feelings. We know this instinctively, as we always physically point to our heart when we say “I” or want to express my deeper feelings.

While the mind is the content of who we are, our heart is the essence!

 

Which wins: the heart or the head?

That is your decision – you have free will but For me it’s the heart. As your true self, your spiritual core, your heart is connected to something much bigger. It is energy, it flows and knows where you’re meant to go, even if it doesn’t lay out the steps (as the head will beg it to do). The head, in it’s more logical, step-by-step approach, is not aware of the bigger picture and panics when it cannot see the process or map laid out ahead of it. It doesn’t know what your soul is here to do, what you’re meant to learn. The head is fearful, and often convinces you to stay where it knows how to be in control. It works hard to convince you to listen to and follow it, rather than your heart.
When faced with a decision or conflict, your mind may come up with numerous, different and quite logical reasons why you should act as it advises, but if you listen to and trust your heart however illogical or irrational it may seem it is usually right and you are happier as a result.

A good heart is better than all the heads in the world!



FORGIVE- IT LIBERATES YOUR SOUL! — September 17, 2015

FORGIVE- IT LIBERATES YOUR SOUL!

When someone you care about hurts you, you can hold on to anger, resentment and thoughts of revenge — or embrace forgiveness and move forward.

What is forgiveness?


Forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiving can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, more positive parts of your life. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.

It for sure doesn’t mean that you deny the other person’s responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn’t minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. It brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life.
 

Forgiving is necessary. Why?


Because we need to forgive just as much as we need forgiveness. If we don’t forgive, our rage and anger will be like poison to us and it will eat us up. God does not want that to happen, so we are commanded to forgive and we must forgive!

It frees us from guilt and shame. We no longer need to feel anxious, worry about the situation or feel as though the whole world blames us for what happened. Though we want to take precautions never to do it again, we are free to leave the past behind us and start new again.

Certainly the wounds of forgiveness are not healed by time. Sins do not appear by magic, nor will they disappear by magic. Even God had to “do” something about the sin of the world. Forgiveness requires the action of the forgiver.

Furthermore, it is not acceptable to only forgive others, we must forgive ourselves. This is indeed very difficult. I admit, I struggle with forgiving myself. Forgiving ourselves is a way of showing love to ourselves. It is an act of worship. We must forgive ourselves. We must free ourselves!


Forgiveness is indeed a powerful weapon. Arm yourself and forgive!

 

Dancing: the vertical expression of a horizontal desire legalized by music! — September 10, 2015

Dancing: the vertical expression of a horizontal desire legalized by music!

I heard someone say that dance is the first one of the arts. I’d say that from all arts, dance is the one that engages more the entirety of the human being. The poet is not the poem, the sculptor is not the sculpture, the musician is not the music, the architect is not the architecture, the actor is the role s/he is playing, 

but the DANCER IS THE DANCE!


Dancing to me Is an occasion to celebrate happiness, a movement to release pent up tensions, an impromptu display of rejoicing, an artistic portrayal of body movement, a rhythmic physical presentation, It’s danseuse’s display of delicate balancing and the epitome of magnificence. Dance is the only thing that keeps me sane yet drives me so crazy. 

   

  
  
 
   

Dancing expresses the body in a way that only the soul can understand. It is a gift from God.
 
   

  
   


Dance when no ones looking

Dance harder when they are

Dance to heal a wound

Dance to heal a scar

Dance under the rain

Dance under the sun

Dance to the sound of the leaves

Dance to the song in your heart

Dance even though you know…

That your world is falling apart. 

   

  
         
  
  
Dance has allowed me a certain freedom of expression that I haven’t found anywhere else. A freedom to reveal my deepest fears and insecurities to a room full of people, yet never having to utter a word or give an explanation for it. Dance knows no bounds or limits. It is free and expressive and available to absolutely everyone (regardless of any excuses we might make to ourselves or others).

For me, dance provides a place of personal acceptance, inner resolve, security, fun and a forum for creative expression that knows no bounds. It is limitless and this lack of limits sets me free.
    

 
At this exact moment in my life, I’m a dancer.

FALLING IN AND OUT OF LOVE IS AS CYCLICAL AS THE TIDES OF THE OCEAN! — September 1, 2015

FALLING IN AND OUT OF LOVE IS AS CYCLICAL AS THE TIDES OF THE OCEAN!

It seems to be a complete mystery. Something we cannot understand. And yet it happens every day all around us: People who used to love each other madly suddenly fall out of love, just like that.

Falling in love is very easy.
And falling out of it is even easier.

The start of a relationship is always the finest hour of romance.It’s the magic of first moments, the time when you love every little thing about your partner, including the annoying habits, Romantic gestures, soft whispers of undying love and the compelling need to be with each other are all the symptoms.

But it doesn’t last for long and you’re left wondering how it all changed. Where is the love that once existed and was so prominent in everything you did or said? Where has it vanished? The real truth about the first few months of love is that we’re only infatuated be each other. It’s only the first phase of what we identify as love.

Angie: “I woke up in the middle of the night and looked at my guy. He still looked exactly like the man I used to be crazy about, except I just didn’t feel the same way. It scared me. I think I must have stared at him for hours, searching in my heart for the warm feelings I always felt in the past. He’s just as wonderful as always. Maybe I’ve just not tried hard enough. What if I couldn’t find anyone better? Am I running away without really giving it my best shot? What if the problem is me?”

Sean: “She reached out to touch me in the beautiful way she always has. I thought I was just tired. I made some kind of lame excuse and she was fine that first night. Then it happened again. We talked about seeing a doctor, but I knew it wasn’t physical. I love this woman as much as I ever did, but something is just missing, and I don’t know what it is. Christ, I don’t want to lose her, but I don’t want to pretend I feel something I don’t either. I don’t even want to tell her because I know she’d be devastated”

The reason why people fall out of love is because they’re human. Yes. We are designed to fall out of love. 

And then, if the relationship is healthy and both people understand what real love is about, we fall back in love, deeper than before. And then we fall out of love and back in love. You get the picture. Falling in and out love is as cyclical as the tides of the ocean. 

The problem generally arises when, at the first sign of falling out of love, someone jumps ship. 

“I just wasn’t in love anymore,” we hear as a common reason why one person left a relationship. We take this to mean that the heart-pounding, exhilarating feelings that characterize the first stage of a relationship have faded. The eternal beloved who, just days or weeks before, made life worth living, is now a regular, flawed, sometimes annoying unbearable human being. 
 

Reignite your feelings of love 

Yes, it does takes enormous courage to open your heart once you’ve been hurt. Yet it’s the only way of sustaining real love. Once you can start to identify the ways that you shut down and protect, thereby barricading your heart behind a ironclad wall, the faster you’ll be able to soften that wall and move toward your partner once again. 

When you know the love laws and commit to putting the loving actions that open your heart into practice, you can sustain a lifetime of a loving, honest, satisfying relationship. It’s not always easy or fast work, but it’s work that is well-worth the effort.

For, in the end, all we really want is to feel love and be loved.

SEMICOLON: NOT JUST THE MARK OF A REALLY COMMITTED GRAMMAR NERD! — August 27, 2015

SEMICOLON: NOT JUST THE MARK OF A REALLY COMMITTED GRAMMAR NERD!

The semicolon is an important piece of punctuation and is a perfect symbol for all those who are struggling. 

“A semicolon is used when an author could’ve chosen to end their sentence, but chose not to. The author is you and the sentence is your life.”

That’s right: the semicolon. It’s a tattoo that has gained popularity in recent years, but unlike other random or mystifying trends, this one has a serious meaning behind it. (And no, it’s not just the mark of a really committed grammar nerd.)

She recently decided to get a semicolon tattoo. Not because it’s trendy (though, it certainly seems to be at the moment), but because it’s a reminder of the things She’s overcome in her life. She’s dealt with anxiety, depression, and gender dysphoria for the better part of her life, and at times, that led her down a path that included self-harm and suicide attempts. 

But years later, finally fitting the pieces of her life together in a way She never thought they could before. The semicolon (and the message that goes along with it) is a reminder that She has faced dark times, but Is still here.

By writing a semicolon on your wrist, you are making a promise to yourself that it is ok to reach out and seek for help… stand up for yourself or anyone you know who has depression, anxiety, has self harmed or has contemplated suicide and help our peers, our friends and our family know that we speak up for them and that we stand up against Mental Health and the stigma that’s attached to it.

It is there because one pledges to not let mental illness make them put a full stop to their life, rather continue it with a SEMICOLON
This blog is to motivate all those who have suffered or seen a loved one suffering. 

Go get a semicolon!

IT’S ALL ABOUT BEING HAPPY, FROM THE INSIDE! — August 24, 2015

IT’S ALL ABOUT BEING HAPPY, FROM THE INSIDE!

I have always felt a deep urge to ask a few questions to those who went away. Some went away after a fight while others just drifted apart. I have always wanted to ask them the real reason for the desertion. Are they happy now that they are away or do they feel like coming back? And if they somehow did want to come back, do they know where I am and how would we get along from there on?

I have had the opportunity of making tonnes of friends all throughout my life. Some friends, especially the ones who shared my tiffin-box back in kindergarten made my childhood worth cherishing. Then there are those whose love and affection made me miss my school life. There are those who became more than friends. Then there are those who promised to always be a part of my life till the very end!
Why do friends leave?



You have had those moments when you promised eternal friendships. You have had those moments when you felt you ruled time. Yet, somehow, a friend leaves. Then another. And the story goes on..

Finally, when you are all grown up, running from pillar to post to lead a good life, you are struck with a feeling of merely having people who like your social updates and not those who’d really care whether you existed and if you were keeping fine or not. Trust me, that’s a terrible feeling to have. 
When you see friends who have recently lost their best friends, you’d naturally be worried about your people, isn’t it? I am glad that in that evening, I was with those people I really want to grow old with. These folks didn’t really care who I was, how rich I was, they just appreciated me for one reason – I cared and I made them smile.

After a few songs, some of us pick up our footwear and walk till our feets are being kissed by the warm sea water.

I look up. The streetlights are well over 200 mts away and sea in front is merely singing away with the waves. Right there, the clear sky becomes even more beautiful.I have always said, the charm of the sea is on a full moon night with not a single soul anywhere. All you need to do is simply close your eyes and soak in the salty air while the waves dance in front of you and crash into each other that fills you up.

It’s all about being happy, from the inside. When you are happy, people naturally find you and treasure you. There may be some who will leave, may be even without a reason, may be even without saying goodbye. Your job is well cut out here. All you need to do is sit back and be a good person to be with. You don’t need to focus on those who leave. Treasure those who stay. That’s the essence. That’s the secret.